Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Reflections of 2011

When you hit 28 or 39, I hear there is a divide that takes place. Two kinds of people emerge. One side are the people that used their 20's to grow, learn and determine who they were. They found God for themselves. Found their dreams. They know what works, what doesn't. They've pushed themselves to go through the pain and become a real, live adult and realize that it's a beautiful thing.

The other side are those stuck in college, or heaven forbid, high school. They've stayed at dead-end jobs they've hated because of fear of taking a risk. They are in relationships that are good enough, but aren't amazing. They mean to find a church, develop intimate friendships, and stop drinking like life's a big frat party. But they don't do those things and continue to live in an extended adolescents.

This past year I can look back and say I can be content and that I am proud of the life I'm living.

In 2011, I've crossed the gap from from mid- to late-20s. In that transition, if it even qualifies as one, I've happily found a balance between the season of wildness and season of settledness. I've heard so many times that life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life, but this past year my soul actually learned it and life has become so much more beautiful.

So because of that, I walk closely with people I love, that believe God is good and life is a beautiful adventure. I don't get stuck in the past and I don't try to fast-forward into a future that I haven't yet earned. I give today all the love, intensity and courage I can as I travel along life's path.

There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Discovering. Dreaming. Not loosing myself in immature adventures and not loosing myself on the corporate ladder. I've found a balance that allows me to stop every once in a while and go out with an old friend for coffee or climb in bed with my journal and write till my heart stops bleeding.

I've embraced that imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. I've fully realized the uniqueness that you are taunted for all the way up through college is what people suddenly embrace and love. The uniqueness is what employers remember.

So this year, in the midst of all the accomplishments that I'm so proud of, I'm most proud of the fact that I'm growing and find the beauty in what God is making me. That every day he instill His divine sense of creativity in me and that I can use every part of good in me to give honor to Him.

It's been a wonderful year and I wonder how I could top it, then I realize I can't. I wouldn't have been able to plan all the beauty and accomplishments that happened this year, so why do I think I can comprehend this coming year. So I tear out my page in my notebook with "2012" scribbled across the top and leave a blank page and just hand it to God.

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