I can say pretty much ever year of my adult life I have thought, "wow, how could I ever top that year?!" Don't get me wrong, I've had many difficult times in my life, but somehow God always showed up and reminded me that I wasn't doing it alone. So for the first time, at least in a while, I can look back and say, "man, that year was ROUGH."
End of 2011 husband got a new job at a long haul company, he's always been regional. I got a fantastic promotion I had been working for for about two - three years. An exciting time, and stressful. As husband adjusted, I tried to adjust. And we will both admit it was hard. I had people watching my every step, waiting for me to fail. And he was only home about 8 days a month.
The people I thought would be there to support, encouraging, and pray for me ... weren't. People that I would have said a year ago will be around no matter what ... weren't.
But God knew when I needed it. He never let me get past my breaking point. Right when I was about to crumble, others showed up. Right when I was at the end and didn't know what to do, I would get a text, call, or even a letter in the mail! There were many instances that those simple messages would bring tears to my eyes because I just needed a reminder of who I was in Christ. These God connections were there to let me vent, yell, and sometimes cry. Yes. I will admit. There have been tears this year.
I was sitting at work this week and just laid my head on my desk with tears in my eyes. I was an absolute emotional mess, to the point that I couldn't concentrate enough to get work done. After a few hours of this trying to focus with no success, I grabbed my notebook and wrote, "It's ok. I'm having a weak day, but that just means He gets to be strong. And there is beauty in that."
So maybe I should take back my opening. Perhaps this hasn't been such a difficult year. I prayed to God to protect me from my enemies ... so I lost friends. I asked God to make me strong enough to handle this situation ... and He made me weak so His Spirit was strong in me.